The place where I live is filled with curious and quirky characters. In fact I often take a stroll over to Boscombe High street to sit and simply observe. So much can unfold in an hour or so while its prime characters do all manner of random things. I feel that today may have surpassed itself in ‘random’ when I went into the bank ten minutes before it closed. The Bank Manager advised everyone he was going to lock the doors and then when everyone was served he would let everyone out. He made this announcement very loudly and pretty clearly. Of course everyone nodded. So after two rather inebriated chaps dealt with their money they set about trying to make their banking escape.
The first one went to the door and tried to open it. He looked confused. His friend Barry joined him. ‘’ere mate the door’s locked and I have pressed all the buttons and ain’t nofing ‘appening watch.’ His voice was slurred. He then proceeded to press all the buttons. The people in the bank queue said nothing and watched.
‘What shall we do Baz?’ The guy was urgent. ‘We’ve got to make a run for it.’ Why they had to make a run for it was beyond everyone’s comprehension. The pair had paid money into their accounts. Urgently Baz pressed all the buttons, as if his friend had not pressed them in the correct manner. ‘Mate the buttons don’t work. Do you think they know?’
‘Do you think we should tell them?’ asked Baz.
‘Well if we do they will think we broke them and then they will charge us money.’
Baz stood for a moment. ‘We’re stuck in a bank Baz.’ He said slowly. ‘They might think we are trying to rob it. We had better get out.’
Baz and the other chap looked at each other and glanced over their shoulders to see who was watching. It was amazing how the queue had all been listening to the conversation one moment and as soon as the pair turned they all pretended they hadn’t noticed them (including me). The pair whispered for a while and the Bank Manager from behind the screen said, ‘we’re nearly done we can let you out in a mo.’ He was bright and cheerful. The extreme button pressing had not phased him at all.
Baz and his friend studied the CCTV cameras, the door release buttons and whispered. When they made their plan, the pair looked at each other for a second too long.
‘Go’ said Baz and his friend burst into a beat box and a dance. Baz then pressed all the buttons again and tried with all his might to open the door. He made a loud roar and nothing. ‘It’s like a bloody vault!’ he cried. The room was silent while the man blowing raspberries danced the worst dad dance that you have ever seen. The people in the queue were silent and bemused. I glanced around because it felt as though we were in one of those weird joke shows where people’s cars get crushed. Surprisingly there was no one lurking with a microphone behind a plant. So whatever was taking place was real.
With one final loud raspberry that sounded as though it was deflating, the dancing queen came to a standstill and bent over as though he had just completed a marathon. I went up to the counter where the Bank Manager was and paid in my money. ‘Is this normal?’ I asked. He looked at me and said ‘is it full moon?’ I had no idea. I paid in my cash and hear the pair screaming as they pressed themselves against the window. ‘Let us out… We’re trapped…’
I looked at the Bank Manager who was smirking. He seemed to be taking longer with the transaction that normal. I looked at him curiously.
‘Help us!’ The pair screamed as they slapped the window.
‘Don’t you want to let them out?’ I asked.
‘Don’t you want to see what happens?’ He replied.
Finally the pair sat down, pulled beer cans from their jackets and grinned. ‘It’s a lock in! Let’s PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTY!’
That was when the Bank Manager stood up, emerged from behind the counter. ‘Well thank you everyone, as I mentioned before ‘once the last customer is served I will open the door.’ The pair took a sip of their beers and glanced at each other.
‘Did you ‘ear ‘im say that Baz?’
‘Yeh I did actually,’ Baz replied.
‘Yeh so did I.’ His mate replied.