Since it is New Year, I am posting from Love Hunt II. I hope you enjoy. Please share with your friends who have dated. They will know the joys of dating. Also share with your happy coupley friends who get to feel relieved that they found each other and do not have to endure yet another date…
Dear Eva, I am BACK! Oh that is so FANNY!!!! Ha! Ha! Ha! My darling it is funny. Fanny is a lady’s undercarriage – the pleasure part. My goodness I have missed your turn of phrase and your very special worldview. In fact it is a few weeks since I spat my drink at a computer screen and the first thing I did this morning was read your mail and spit my coffee. I am sure my colleagues must be impressed. They must think it is my return from holiday ritual!
I have never noticed wobbling bottoms at the gym but no doubt they are going to draw my attention daily from now on. It will be like watching jelly on a washing machine during a spin cycle. It is the time of year where people make their gym attempts – sweat too much and realise they don’t like turning purple in public.
Eva, I have so much to tell you and I am already smirking about icicles sticking out bras. The funny thing is I have only been away ten days and I have over a thousand work emails to wade through. Of course I read yours first! I put you at the top of the priority list. I hope that makes you feel special against the different investigations, metrics and formulae already pursuing me. I can feel the mental asteroids circling.
Well having a break did something. I saw a new life perspective while I ogled fit men and was massaged by one particular hotty, which resulted in a bit of a holiday romance. This then revealed a whole world of potential and I have now developed two lists – imagine!
So here we are – the ideal man list and The LUST LIST!!!. I was going to call the latter the sexy sausage list but something in the word lust combined with list sent tingles down my spine. I love lists and lust combined… Oh another moment of inspiration just hit like lightening – The LOVE LIST & The LUST LIST. Yey!!!!! I am yeying at the desk. Who does that? Me apparently. Yey, yey and triple lusty lovey yey!!!!
You might ask what is the lust list? The criteria and parameters for this list is purely for ‘play time.’ I realised on holiday that I have been taking this dating malarchy far too seriously. The criteria are specific; there is certainly not a hint of nasal hair on the owner of a perfectly musculated arm! What a revelation. A woman can have a lust list in her ‘tick list / to do book!’ Amazing or what? I never realised that lists moved beyond work so well!
AN AUDIO SAMPLE BY THE WONDERFUL HELEN LLOYD