THE REBEL WITH A BUDGIE SMUGGLING CAUSE
This particular creature includes those who are the budgie smugglers of doom, sand in sock spectaculars and salami rustlers.
Budgie smuggling should be outlawed. It just isn’t right to smuggle a budgie in a pair of skimpy speedo swimming trunks. Oh that isn’t actually a budgie? When you are talking budgie smuggling you mean that there isn’t actually a small squashed bird being transported against its will in a Lycra arrangement that surrounds a man’s thrustacious hip girdle? Oh instead there is a male sausage budgie imposter being smuggled in a pair of Lycra trunks… Nice! Surely those disturbing items of clothing should be renamed sausage smugglers or salami smugglers… Actually thinking about it, the term budgie smugglers reached the mass, I wonder how many people noticed that many of the budgies being smuggled did not actually have beaks.
Now that we have the above clear, there is many a disturbing sight to be witnessed around the pool. Salamis of all shapes and sizes are smuggled, squashed and flaunted. At times you wonder whether the Borat thong has accidentally been applied because the trunks are so small and the wearer is sooooooooooooooooo big. One of my Australian friends referred to one particularly offensive sight: ‘He looks like all he is wearing is a dick sticker.’ A South African friend recoiled when a chap bent over and cried ‘It looks like wet sand in a sock.’ All of these observations based on the simplicity of a pair of trunks, a bit of sunshine and the dream of getting some decisive tan lines!