I will let you have a listen and then explain…
Soooooo I just love this. When I say love it – the fact that Stockton Harris, who is producing the audio for Cruise Ship Creatures, basically sent this to me to show me the challenge he was having producing ‘in the cupboard.’ I shared it with some of my friends who thought it truly revealed the challenge for audio producers and made them laugh too.
Anyway, you will be glad to know that Stockton Harris has recovered from his fit of giggles and is still wading through this book in audio terms. Although he did send me an email saying he was having a challenge delivering ‘Imagine a giant whoopee cushion in human form flying across the deck making a huge raspberry noise.’
Oh how do I explain… so basically I wrote this book to entertain myself. I did not intend to publish the blooming thing. My intention was to create something to remind myself not to go back to work at sea. My second time on ships (there have been three in total) I wrote in my diary ‘whatever you do… Do not go back to work on ships. You reach levels of exhaustion you won’t remember and you begin to hate humanity.’ Strangely I did not take my own advice. I know why – the travel is amazing and you meet phenomenal people. Every day is an adventure and you learn your levels of resilience especially in storms.
So this third and final shippy visit resulted in me writing something that would definitely stop me going back unless I went on a cruising holiday. I thought that I would put my darkest and most twisted immature humour into it because the world was not supposed to see it. There was no intended audience – just me crying laughing at my own jokes at the desk… I wrote it in the same way as The Office Zoo because I liked the idea of having a field guide to spot guests when I took a cruising holiday. I also wrote it under my pseudonym so that I would not be banned from going on a ship… Just in case I published. So then what bloody happens? I thought I would put a paperback together so that I could take the book on a cruise… Also I sent some chapters to my cruisey friends who said they wanted to buy it. So I put it on Kindle… Oh bloody hell. So then what happens?????? Of course the book that I did not intend to publish starts bloody selling… Typical. The irony is that I got myself a nice and very interesting job so that writing could simply be a hobby that pays for spas. That way there was no need to force the book to make an income and guess what? Yep! The bugger sells. How the universe works is beyond me. I guess when you don’t have a need for something then it can do its own thing…
As I said before, Stockton Harris is in the process of producing the book. He is developing stomach muscles from laughing hard. I think I might publish a few sample chapters before release – just to give you all an idea of this bloody audio book. I love it but I have heard my dark and twisted humour from a voice that resembles David Attenborough. What more can an author want? Anyway I hope you love the giggles.
Please share with anyone who needs a giggle because too many people are walking around with ‘smells under their noses’.