THE SUN WHACKY WORSHIPPERS
Have you ever noticed the human prune? These people have tanned so hard that they are the darkest shade of leather. When they stand up and their bikini bottoms or trunks slip the contrast is astounding. The other example of this creature is the barbecued version where they bask in the sun far too long that they reach a red so deep that it resembles blood. They have gone beyond lobster to something far more disturbing. What always astounds me is that even though they are burned, they will go back out the next day and the next day and repeat until they shed skin like dandruff imbued snakes. Of course there are some sub-species of the ‘Sun Whacky Worshippers’ and these are detailed below.
The Leathery Sunbathers: okay this title can be interpreted in two ways. There are people that sunbathe in leather. Oh yes, on a charter cruise for gay men, it seemed that some would venture out on deck in their leather ‘swimwear’ and tan themselves. Some would even wear the leather hat and chains. I have no idea what they do with tan lines or whether these lines were part of the ‘kink’. On non-charter cruises, the leather-clad chain wearer is a very rare breed of ‘Cruise Ship Creature’. However, the gay charter cruises are always a laugh, will open your mind and at times make you wonder how on earth ‘that (insert random object) got stuck in that hole.’
While we are on the subject of charter cruises I guess that you would be surprised that there are in fact nudist charters where the guests are naked. There is a more detailed insight further into the field guide on this type of ‘Cruise Ship Creature’.
Soooo back to the actual ‘Leathery Sunbathers’ – these are the people that are so brown and so tanned that their skin is like leather. They are easy to spot because they are soooo soooo brown. When you glimpse a tan line you will be astounded by their original skin state. Beneath all that tan there was once a pale and very pasty skin. For the extreme ‘Sun Whacky Worshipers’ there is kudos in sunbaking. Many go on cruises for the extreme tans to show off when they return to England in the middle of the winter. These people tend to wear lighter clothes the browner they get and by the time they are super tanned, have you noticed they all suddenly wear white? When they arrive back to the Southampton gloom, these people still maintain their white and wafty outfits even if it is minus twelve. No matter what, they have to show off that tan as they make their way home. Why would you put in all that tanning effort if you can’t show it off?