The Original Little Stinkers
Well everything has to begin somewhere. That ‘somewhere of smells’ arrived in the form of the Original Little Stinker. At first Sebastian imagined many little creatures and all the fantastic pongs they could make. Yet, because there was such a variety, he became overwhelmed with all of the pongy possibilities. In the end he narrowed it down and came to the conclusion that the simplicity of smell was the best approach. So what do you think the most common bad smell is? What do you think the most recognisable pong is? You know it… You do…
Well, it is that awful smell of rotten egg. Or did you think it was something else?
Now with that rotten egg smell in mind, Sebastian Stinkworthy became thoughtful about all of the times he had smelled rotten eggs. He remembered that most of the time that smell was a bit of a surprise and felt like someone had somehow created the eggy surprise from nowhere. So that is how the thought process began. If I was going to have a smell that came from nowhere… Then surely I would need some sort of Chameleon creature that could blend in with walls. Such creatures would have to be quiet and if seen they would have to be cute. Sebastian found stealth smells funny because he thought about how bandits wore masks and Chameleons curled their tails. It was then that chameleons with racoon faces and masks popped into his mind. It was perfect, they could make a silent but deadly eggy murk, create all manner of uproar and never be seen – a nasty niff ninja. They could wait for the unsuspecting parties to depart and then emerge from the wall looking all fluffy and cute, as if nothing bottomy-untoward had taken place. It was perfect!
WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE – CREATURE IDENTIFICATION
They are a chameleon crossed with racoons. They have eye masks in the pattern of they facial fur. They are quite amazing because they can adopt all manner of patterns and backgrounds whenever they please.
In Little Stinkers Sebastian introduces them as follows:
Let me introduce you to the original Little Stinkers, and whether you realise it or not, you are surrounded by them.
John made a loud laugh which trailed off, when hundreds of small creatures emerged from the walls, all carrying the same pattern as the tiles. As they moved the pattern on their body changed to match the floor.’ When they weren’t in their blending in state, they looked like racoons and appeared to be wearing eye masks of fur.
‘They are like fluffy chameleons mixed with racoons,’ Tingle cried.
They are fluffy, sweet and have rather cool eye masks. They don’t make a mess and don’t draw attention themselves. Their tail is pretty interesting too because it has the racoon pattern and rolls up into the chameleon style tail.
When they are in a state of fear they produce increased eggy intensity. Sometimes they forget where they are and release and unintentional eggy bottom burp. There are times when they are hiding and unintentionally alert you to their presence by making a parp sound to accompany the eggy release. Sometimes they chuckle and you might be forgiven for imagining the wall laughing.
THE STINKING UGLY – HOW THEY ‘GET YOU’
You might think you are alone in a room and a mysterious eggy smell comes from nowhere. It is as if the walls are sweating rotten egg. That is when you become aware that you are surrounded by the Little Stinkers who are stealthily parping away.
There are no combinations with this stinky creature. There is only the smell of rotten eggs. Although of course different animals have different eggs, so it could be a rotten hen egg, ostrich egg or even an alligator egg. Each have a slightly different aroma when they rot. I bet you never considered that before.
The surprise attack or the unexpected waft is how this creature is best utilised. Alternatively a stink ambush or a revenge pong from an unsuspected source delights this little stinking creature.
IF YOU ARE LIKE THIS LITTLE STINKER
As you wander through this Pongpendium you will begin to understand that all people have a Little Stinker within them. It is almost an archetype of stink. So you may as well figure out what kind of Little Stinker you are, so that you accept and understand what you are capable of and how others perceive it.
If you are like this stinker, first of all any smell emitted from you will smell like rotten eggs. You will also have a tendency to release this awful aroma silently in confined spaces. Of course you will find it hilarious but maintain your best straight face. You are also likely to glance around with an accusing expression. That way you can throw any dastardly doom detectives off the guilty scent. That way you are never expected to be the guilty farty.
If you are like the original Little Stinker, it is suggested that you do not eat eggs or find yourself in confined spaces otherwise you may lose your friends faster than you can scramble an egg.
THE STINKING STORY
There once was a Little Stinker who was very good at hiding and concealing itself because it looked like a racoon and had the blending in ability of a racoon. It was a master of stealth and had a tendency to create silent and eggy pongs when people least expected it. The Little Stinkers learned that their role during the biggest Stink to hit man-kind was to provide eggy pongs in confined spaces. They delighted in their eggy stink skills and took to practising in confined spaces, bathrooms and people’s bedrooms. They would cleverly blend in, wait until they could hear an unsuspecting victim making their way to the room or space and then silently deliver an eggy surprise. They would watch the reaction, which usually involved the victim gasping for air, opening a window or sprinting from the room. Once the area was clear, the Little Stinkers would scamper away. Since they were racoons combined with chameleons they could climb walls and reach all manner of awkward locations
WHAT MAKES THEM SMILE
The element of surprise when an eggy whiff reaches an unsuspecting participant.
THEIR FAVOURITE FOOD
Unfortunately they like eggs and anything with egg in. Their particular favourites include cake and omlettes.
A LITTLE BIT OF WEIRDNESS
Since there are so many different types of egg in the world, and they all make slightly different rotting smells, Sebastian thought he would group the Little Stinkers according to different egg groups. They kind of fell into Little Stinker tribes. How each Little Stinker could be identified would be the patterns on the tail or the patterns on the back of the Little Stinkers when they were not blending in.
THEIR PART OF THE RASPBERRY RHAPSODY
The Little Stinkers contribute their singing to the main pong song because during the Raspberry Rhapsody they are working their hardest to blend in before releasing their eggy pongs at the perfect moment to the world.
‘Oh what a stink… will make you think…
After such time a stinking crime…
Especially made for you…
A stench and a smell to feel unwell
Horrible whiffs that make you stiff are suddenly very free!’
WHERE YOU ARE MOST LIKELY TO FIND THEM
You can find them pretty much anywhere, although they like patterned wallpaper to blend in with. The more pattern the greater the chameleon challenge. Oh and of course they love lifts/elevators.
ADVICE FROM THIS LITTLE STINKER
When you detect an eggy smell get out of the room as fast as you can because the eggy pong is designed to intensify over time.
THE DANCE OF THE LITTLE STINKER
Their dance is simple. They unwind their curly tails to start and lift opposite legs to the beat.
HOW THEY LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF STINKING SECURITY
You will never know they are there or were there. If you do discover them, then they will look all cute and fluffy and you will think oh how cute! Don’t trust them because there is plenty more eggyness stink where that came from.
STAND OUT MOMENTS
When the family recognise an eggy pong and are advised that they were surrounded by Little Stinkers who emerged from the walls looking very proud of themselves.
THE MORAL OF THE STINKY STORY
There will always be surprise eggy stinks and it is better to realise that a Little Stinker delivers with stealth and pride. Quality of stink not quantity of pong is their motto.
Incidentally, it is worth remembering that a peculiar pong is on its way to a confined space near you!
Illustrations By Robin Dry – Thank you!