PONGPENDIUM – What Kind of Little Stinker are You? A Pongaroo?

THE PONGAROOS

When Sebastian created the first Little Stinker he was rather pleased with himself. That Little Creature would be able to help him deliver eggy pongs across the planet on one special day. That special day would be when he finally took his revenge and released the Supreme Stench. Yet, why limit pongability to purely erupting eggy smells? Surely there were far more varieties of pong that could reach the masses in increasingly inventive ways. Boundless bad bottom burps could be created and flood the planet. There were no limits to catastrophic nasally-hostile creations because Sebastian Stinkworthy had access to magic. No limits provided true odorous opportunity. After such a huge realisation Sebastian Stinkworthy began to imagine all pongacious possibilities and the fun that could be had creating different kinds of Little Stinker. What’s more, there were so many creatures he could draw inspiration from on the planet and plenty more roaming around his imagination

It was a wondrous moment of day dreaming adventure when the Pongaroos took form in Sebastian Stinkworthy’s mind. He liked the idea of a creature bouncing in, delivering a pong and then bounding away with a nice bit of spring in its leap. A pong and go approach! What could be more surprising than that? Of course being just a kanagaroo was too obvious. Sebastian Stinkworthy need to up his pongy game. It was then that an elephant popped into his mind. He liked the fact that elephants made a huge trumpeting sound before they charged… That was it! The creature needed a trunk to make a trumpeting charge sound, then from nowhere bounding creatures would charge in, pong and then go! Brilliant. It would create chaos…. Perfect. The thing was what smell would equal the sound of the Pongaroo’s charge?

Pongaroos

WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE – CREATURE IDENTIFICATION

Large hind bouncing legs like a kangaroo and the head of an elephant with a well-developed trunk for the ultimate trump trumpet (trump-et) sound.

THE GOOD

You are usually aware the Pongaroos are on their way. The pre-warning trump – trumpeting is a good indicator. The rhythmic pounding of the herd will alert you as they storm the area. Then Ping-Pong-Pang! Pongs are delivered as the Pongaroos spring off to their next Pong-destination or Pongstination as Sebastian Stinkworthy calls it. Obviously the last part is not so good, but at least you knew it was on its way.

THE BAD

Hearing a Trump-Trumpet is not appealing on any level. Sometimes the element of surprise is far better when it comes to pong distribution. Quite often when a group hear the warning trump they descend into a helpless heap, knowing that an imminent pong pelting is due.

THE STINKING UGLY –HOW THEY ‘GET YOU’

They bound in your direction, align with you and deliver the pong and then bounce off. Pong and go!

ODOUR IDENTIFICATION

The Pongaroos stink is earthy. It smells like rotten sprouts and drains combined. Sometimes when they are really angry there can be a hint of asparagus and broccoli – but that is if they are angry or feel threatened.

2 loo

PURPOSE

They are designed to Pong and Go. Admittedly they have the capacity to provide a pre-warning trump – trump-et. The trumpeting sounds like an angry bull elephant before it charges. Imagine a whole herd of trumpeting, trumping Pongaroos bounding at you? Terrifying? Oh Yes! The certainly know how to fulfil their purpose!

IF YOU ARE LIKE THIS LITTLE STINKER

Well you are probably a bouncy sort of person who is quite optimistic in life because you bound along. It takes a lot to rattle you; however, there will be a sequence of events which drives you to sound your trump trumpet and bound into a room, pong and go. You also are likely to release the aroma of sprouts in such a stinkacious situation. When you grow really peeved you may notice the hint of asparagus and broccoli. Sebastian Stinkworthy coined the phrase: ‘aspara-gas’. He also discovered that aspara-gas can render people unconscious. He found that out by sniffing it by accident and waking up an hour later. Woops!

THE STINKING STORY

A few creature bounced across the far side of the room. They had strong legs like a kangaroo and a body and head like a baby elephant. They had thick deep purple skin and large flappy elephant ears.

‘That would be a Pongaroo. They bounce in, make a pong and then bound off leaving a stenchcident. There are also Ponggoos – who make a pong and leave a slime behind – that is a pongy-goo. Hence the name Ponggoo.

3Pongaroos

WHAT MAKES THEM SMILE

Dancing in a circle and all bouncing in time together.

When they have all delivered an almighty pong and gone… They are happy, relieved and filled with sense of pongacious pride! Who wouldn’t be?

THEIR FAVOURITE FOOD

Well their usual food is grass-based. They generally like a plant-based diet because then they can create an optimum earthy smell. However, they do have a love of sprouts and sometimes get rather annoyed when their favourite food gets monopolised at Christmas. As revenge they actually make random charges through households during the Queen’s speech or any leader’s Christmas speech. The humans often don’t notice until that awful pong fills the room and everyone tries to blame each other. Don’t you find it amazing how it is usually granny who gets the blame?

A LITTLE BIT OF WEIRDNESS

The Pongaroos have discovered the more excited they are about delivering a pong the higher they can bounce.

Pongaroos1

THEIR PART OF THE RASPBERRY RHAPSODY

The Pongaroos join the other Little Stinkers in the following song:

‘Laa la Laaaaaaaaaaa

We made a pong because of your song

To seek revenge after so long…

Brouhaha Bruhaha

La laaaaaa la laaaa

 

When the stink has come and you wonder why

It’s because you made an innocent cry…

Brouhaha Bruhaha

La laaaaaa la laaaa

 

Now the time has come for the greatest stink

To accuse an innocent will make you think

Brouhaha Bruhaha

La laaaaaa la laaaa.

 

Laa la Laaaaaaaaaaa

‘And the time has come… for a stink so great… A whiffy world will be its fate… We did warn you but it’s too late… Are you ready for the pong-filled-state?’

WHERE YOU ARE MOST LIKELY TO FIND THEM

The Pongaroos gather in groups and like to be out in grassy fields or close to areas where sprouts and broccoli are grown in abundance. They also like hammocks.

ADVICE FROM THIS LITTLE STINKER

If you really want to be effective in your pong and go delivery then the bigger the smile and bounce the better.

pongy

THE DANCE OF THE LITTLE STINKER

Well of course there is going to be a lot of bounding and jumping in time. They love to leap as high as they can to a beat. Oooooh and they get particularly excited when there is a trumpet solo in a piece of music.

HOW THEY LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF STINKING SECURITY

Unfortunately the Pongaroos aren’t particularly stealthy because of their pre-charge Terrifying Trump-Trumpet. They won’t specifically lull you into a false sense of security in normal life. However, at family gatherings, there could be an afternoon charge of Pong-strous proportions. Especially if there is a grandparent present in the room to blame.

STAND OUT MOMENTS

When Tingle and Josh first watch a Pongaroo bound across the room, deliver a pong and the go. It was a pong-and-go delight!

THE MORAL OF THE STINKY STORY

Don’t annoy a Pongaroo because the stink will be enhanced with aspara-gas which can actually render the recipients unconscious.

CLICK HERE FOR THE LINK TO TINGLE DINGLE AND THE LITTLE STINKERS ON AMAZON.CO.UK

CLICK HERE FOR THE LINK TO TINGLE DINGLE AND THE LITTLE STINKERS ON AMAZON.COM

Illustrations by Robin Dry – Thank you!

JPEGFLATT D Stinkers coverv2


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