PONGPENDIUM – What Kind of Little Stinker are You? A Cheeky Reeky?

WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE – CREATURE IDENTIFICATION

The Cheeky Reekies are cutest little creatures with blue hair that drifts in all directions, like when a balloon is rubbed and static is created. Imagine when someone with long hair floats under water and their hair wafts about them – that is how the Cheeky Reekies appear in the air. What’s more, they have huge eyes, small noses and little mouths which makes them look like they are blowing kisses. Oh and we must not forget they also have long tails.’

1 little stink

THE GOOD

They are very sweet little creatures that drift around. They have huge innocent eyes, and because their mouths look like they are blowing kisses, they can easily lull you into a false sense of stink-security. Never trust a cute fluffy creature with large eyes blowing a kiss! The Cheeky Reekies gather in groups and when you see them you instantly think ahhhh how cute! Unfortunately as cute as they are they stink! Be whiff warned!

THE BAD

Well after been drawn in with those sweet innocent eyes, they often gather before you in a line. They will then stare at you and begin to shake. You might think oh no I scared them but that is not the case. What happens next will not only shock you but make you jump. The shaking will reach its optimum and the next thing you know the Cheeky Reeky will blast into the air like a rocket leaving a trail of green smog behind it. What is worse is when that cute little creature blasts off it will make a delightful ahhhh sound as though it is pleased with itself. Oh yes… now you will witness the Cheeky Reeky phenomenon. The first will launch, then the next and the next until the whole group fly through the air. They will spin and shake and then gently drift towards the ground and land elegantly. They will make a gentle little ahh sound and smile sweetly as you retch, grab your nose and try not to cry. When they are really pleased with themselves they might just bow or curtsey for full affect.

THE STINKING UGLY –HOW THEY ‘GET YOU’

As mentioned before, they will gaze into your eyes and appear totally adorable. The main give away that something dastardly is brewing is the fact they begin to line up and shake. That shaking comes about because they are mixing the horrific farty jet fuel inside their innards. Essentially they are stirring up all the murky intestinal mank to create a fetid fart fruition that leads to a ginormous guffacious gust that propels them into the air. Vooooooom!

Cheeky Reekies

ODOUR IDENTIFICATION

Oh this one is sharp! Think dirty, sweaty feet mixed with rotten banana with a hint of gross gungy garden greens! What is quite amazing about the rocket launch gas is the aftermath is always a shade of green.

PURPOSE

The purpose of this Little Stinker is obvious – it is a display stinker, designed for unexpected bottomy blast-offs. Sebastian Stinkworthy came to the conclusion that he liked how people go all gooey over little fluffy creatures. His moment of genius came when he watched a group of people gather round a small fluffy puppy. That puppy licked them and passed wind at the same time. The puppy parp was hideous but the people tolerated it because the puppy was so gorgeous.

The next time you see someone walking a puppy, watch how people go all gooey and just want to cuddle it. Now imagine if that puppy wagged its tail excitedly, blasted into the air making a loud raspberry and left the onlookers with a massive stench. Do you think they would be slightly bemused? You see how the Cheeky Reeky works! Perfect!

IF YOU ARE LIKE THIS LITTLE STINKER

Have you got wafty hair that looks static? Do you have large sweet eyes and a tendency to blow kisses? Well you don’t need any of that… Instead you like to draw your victims in by appearing sweet and friendly. Then you might have a few moments of straining, which is the equivalent to the Cheeky Reeky shaking and next you bottomy blast off! If you shoot up in the air then you truly are a Cheeky Reeky master; however, it is a rare phenomenon for any human to rocket when parping. Although, if you want to get close to a proper launch then it is worth doing a little jump as you deliver your murky monstrosity. Of course afterwards you give a gentle smile, an ahhh and then maybe bow. The onlookers will be terribly shocked and that is where the satisfaction lies. In truth, you know you are this Little Stinker through the desire to purposely catch people off-guard.

THE STINKING STORY

A moment later its eyes looked shocked and it shot up into the air like a rocket. Shortly after the next did the same thing. All along the line they blasted off – it was a Reeky-Cheeky-Reeky rocket launch display. After each blasted into the air a catastrophe of stink was left behind them. When they slowly descended back to the railing they spun, gently landed and then bowed triumphantly.

WHAT MAKES THEM SMILE

Cheeky Reekies are not really smilers, instead they are kiss blowers. They blow little kisses and look adorable. Maybe it is better to consider what pleases them or makes them happy. Well, the higher they launch into the air as they deliver a stink, the greater pleasure they get. After a full bottomy-blast, when they descend gently to the ground and elegantly land (rather than crashing into anything) they blow a triumphant kiss. Their joy is revealed by their level of ‘ahhhing’ as they blast into the air.

 

soup

THEIR FAVOURITE FOOD

You might be surprised to learn that their favourite food is curry. They like the variety of spices and depth of flavours. Most of the Cheeky Reekies particularly like the spinach curries or the really hot curries. After a bit of experimentation they found that Jungle Curry or a decent Vindaloo can propel them higher than most other foods. Sometimes, if the curry is really hot, there might even be flames erupting from their behinds as they rocket into the air.

A LITTLE BIT OF WEIRDNESS

Clearly the above is not weird, well it is a bit. The Cheeky Reekies have had to learn not to blast off in rooms with low ceilings because they can actually splat themselves. If a room has a lower ceiling then they will either spin like a Catherine wheel or shoot diagonally across the room. Also, you will notice that each Cheeky Reeky launches by themselves, that way every individual Cheeky Reeky can blast off safely, one at a time. Originally, when they all blasted together, there were often mid-air collisions and that did not provide any motivation for a Cheeky Reeky to detonate so they held it in. Sebastian Stinkworthy noticed their reluctance when they all swelled up and became like helium balloons. They were not allowed outside until Sebastian Stinkworthy figured out what was going on because they quite literally floated up into space. In the end Sebastian took them to a large hall and re-magicked them so they could clear their back-log and fearlessly fart freely once more. Since Sebastian Stinkworthy did not like waste, the gas was gathered and used to create the Waftness Monsters – a true stink of epic proportion.

THEIR PART OF THE RASPBERRY RHAPSODY

The Cheeky Reekies are the equivalent of fireworks at the end of a performance. They blow their kisses and then booooom! In the story they blast off as follows:

For the final finale all of the Reeky Cheekies lined up. They all gazed innocently into the portals. For a moment each of them shook and then one by one blasted into the air like rockets. After intense shaking, green smoke shot out of their behinds.

‘They didn’t sing,’ said Josh.

‘I don’t think they need to,’ replied Tingle watching all the creatures blasting through the air.

WHERE YOU ARE MOST LIKELY TO FIND THEM

The Cheeky Reekies can be found most places because they can simply drift in and out again. They can descend through chimneys or float through windows. What’s more, because they are adaptable, they can waft under doors. They have even been known to wander through a letterbox or glide through a key hole! They certain can infiltrate! Although their favourite place might surprise you? They like to turn up in bedrooms when people are half-asleep. That way when a bad smell is perfectly delivered it appears like it was just a nightmare or a night trumping terror.

 

2 loo

ADVICE FROM THIS LITTLE STINKER

If you want to generate flames from your bottom then try a jungle curry or a vindaloo. Although the experience is not pleasant, if you do it once then you will never do it again – unless you want a sore bottom.

THE DANCE OF THE LITTLE STINKER

These Little Stinkers are usually a performance’s finale. When there is any sort of celebration then people usually finish it with fireworks. The Cheeky Reekies provide a similar spectacle. When it comes to a stink finale then what better way to end it than a line of really cute creatures rocketing into the air leaving the ultimate stink?

HOW THEY LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF STINKING SECURITY

Their drifting hair and their adorability provide the same feeling as when you see a little kitten and puppy written all over it. They are just too cute to ignore and of course you will let your guard down!

pong

STAND OUT MOMENTS

When Sebastian Stinkworthy first created these creatures there were plenty of mid-air collisions. He couldn’t understand why at first, so he had to consider timing. That was why he made them form a line before entering into a proper blast-filled display. He also experimented with the optimal numbers. Three was not enough and seven became ideal for the larger stinktaculars. In the end he came to the conclusion that clusters of five Cheeky Reekies worked well because once you get over the initial surprise then a long, drawn out display gets a little tedious. It is better to launch, levitate and land than dawdle.

THE MORAL OF THE STINKY STORY

Never trust an innocent looking wafting whiff creator, especially one that looks you in the eye and shakes before blasting into the air. Surprise!

CLICK HERE FOR TINGLE DINGLE AND THE LITTLE STINKERS ON AMAZON.CO.UK

CLICK HERE FOR TINGLE DINGLE AND THE LITTLE STINKERS ON AMAZON.COM

JPEGFLATT D Stinkers coverv2


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