Michelle Dry's Children's Books

Good Morning Hotel Elizabeth,

Well let me share my news,  blogging these emails has reached an international audience. Imagine that people in China, Korea and Jersey all know about the fact you promised a refund and haven’t honoured your word. That is an international awareness that I never thought possible. Amazing eh?

So yesterday I was thinking about how hotels have those rather fausty pongs that lurk in halls, lifts and corridors. It smells like someone has damp clothes festering in their suitcases. Such dank nasal invaders made me think about your poor room preparers/chamber people or whatever the correct name for the person is who has to walk into a room that someone with flatulence have slept in and try and make it better.

Those poor professionals have to lift the duvet and receive the doom-filled discovery. It really isn’t fair is it? What an awful job. How they smile at guests when they have been on the receiving on of rectal rage! I guess the fact we have to wear masks now because of Coronavirus must have benefitted those resilient people that place chocolates on pillows, sculpt towels into animals and prepare rooms with love and care.  How they manage to maintain any artistic towel arranging skill is beyond me when you think about the fetid fart fumes that have brewed during the night. Also having to clean the loo after a person has indulged in an international cuisine that rebels against the intestine. I heard the expression Bovril backlash once and have never been able to unforget it.

Now, I have checked my bank account again today and notice not one inkling of refund, which means this little beauty will be shared with thousands of people around the world. I love the fact that people that I have never met or am ever going to meet are aware of the lack of refund situation. I have received quite a few comments and enquiries about the sitiation.

What is even better is that people around the World are aware of Cruise Ship Creatures and the audio is going down a treat. What’s more, I have been chatting to my audio producer, who would love to turn these little ditties into an audio book. As you may have noticed opportunity is everywhere and one can always plant a flower in a turd. Your hotel is the turd and international awareness of the situation is the flower.

In the meantime, I look forward to receiving the refund you owe me. Oh and I find your silence amazing. The longer you don’t respond then the more people become aware of your avoidance. Talk about self destructive. All the while these emails are doing wonders for my reputation and the opposite for yours. Funny how we all have choice and choice results in repercussions.

Michelle Dry

Author