PONGPENDIUM – What Kind of Little Stinker are You? A Gross Grunter?

WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE – CREATURE IDENTIFICATION

The Gross Grunters have that name for a reason because they are ugly, angry creatures who have a look of stinkacious-strain on their faces. What makes them a little bit stranger is they are all knobbly and lumpy. They often line up looking like awkward teenagers about to reluctantly take to the dancefloor.

Gross Grunters

THE GOOD

Well what is good about them? Hmmmm… you might feel misled here because there isn’t actually that much good regarding a Gross Grunter. They are generally pretty grumpy looking and appear as though they have a bad smell under their noses. In fact, most of the time they do have nastiness up their nostrils. Is it any wonder that they look fed up? When considering what is good about the Gross Grunter: you will be pleased to know that no matter how badly you dance, the Gross Grunter will make you look like the best in the world. Think awkward teenager crossed with a grumpy old man attempting to bop and ta daaaa! Your dancing will be amazing even if you pull your worst dad/ awkward auntie dance moves in public.

THE BAD

Well it is gross, it is grunty and add a bit of grumpy grisliness and you have the ultimate bottom baddy! Yes they really have a stinking skill and as much as they are awkward they are gross grunty geniuses. Grunting is their thing and when it gets gruesome there will be fanatical festering farting in all directions. Oh yes… grumpy lumpy and definitely loud and pumpy!

THE STINKING UGLY –HOW THEY ‘GET YOU’

In the stinking world flabber-gusting has become a thing. It is like when you are shocked as in flabbergasted but in this case you have been grossly gustily grunted at. So how the gross grunters deliver is they walk sulkily into the detonation zone, make a growly grumble and flabber-gust the passers-by with a loud grunt.

ODOUR IDENTIFICATION

Well it is all grunty so it smells like manky cheese combined with morning bear breath. It certainly isn’t pleasant because it is gross!

pong

PURPOSE

There were days when Sebastian Stinkworthy felt grumpy and decided that gross and grumpy were the perfect combination for a creature. With that in mind he remembered the expression ‘like a grumpy bear with a sore head.’ That was why the gross grunters looked like bears, yet in some ways bears were quite nice looking animals, so to make them a bit gross he added some extra knobbles. Toads had knobbles and no one wants to go near a toad do they?

IF YOU ARE LIKE THIS LITTLE STINKER

You generally look grumpy, maybe have an awkwardness about you but when it comes to gross grunting delivery you are a grumbling botty genius. There are flabbergusting gurgling grunts that horrify any friends, family or strangers.

THE STINKING STORY

In Tingle Dingle and The Little Stinkers the Gross Grunters turn up and reluctantly take to the dancefloor.

You need to shake that gross grunty face and celebrate all you have done… Millions of stinking grunts world wide – well done!’

The Gross Grunters took to the floor and began to sway like reluctant teenagers who had been forced to dance.

You need to shake that gross grunty face and celebrate all you have done… Millions of stinking grunts world wide – well done!’ 

The Gross Grunters took to the floor and began to sway like reluctant teenagers who had been forced to dance.

2 loo

WHAT MAKES THEM SMILE

Smile? No chance! The Gross Grunters indulge in their frowns and appearing annoyed. The frowning appears to increase their frowny festering fretful fruity fogs.

THEIR FAVOURITE FOOD

Since they are based on bears they like honey; however, they like it with some rather odd combinations. Honey and stinky blue cheese on turnip toast. Yep turnip toast, which definitely has a bit of a turnippy twang to it.

soup

 

A LITTLE BIT OF WEIRDNESS

Since bears like to hibernate the Gross Grunters like their naps. Their instinct originally was to curl up in places that resembled caves. Unfortunately their gruntiness became so bad in the confined space that they almost gassed themselves and each other. Sebastian realised that could be a problem, firstly they weren’t any use if they were all passed out and secondly there would be a lot of grunt-based arguments and paws pointed in pong accusation. That did not bode well for team work. In the end he figured out that the best thing to do was to make the Gross Grunters resilient to their own breed of grunts or grunts by their own breed of Little Stinker. That was when he realised that when he create the Great Stink, that he could stop animals being bothered by horrific pongs by making them immune. That way dogs would still be able to sniff and wag their tails.

THEIR PART OF THE RASPBERRY RHAPSODY

The room clapped enthusiastically as the very Gross Grunters, with their straining faces, took to the dancefloor. They weren’t the most excitable bunch, yet they had strong voices and were going to give the performance some welly! ‘Laaaaa Laaaaa laaaa they sang with their straining faces, they appeared to relax and looked one gross guff and you have had enough la la laaaa,’ they sang in gruff voices that sounded terribly grouchy. ‘It can be tough when you smell a giant guff… La la laaaa laaaa.’ The very Gross Grunters, looked relieved.

Before the Gross Grunters could return to looking extremely grumpy, the Smog Sprouters waddled to the centre of the dancefloor with their flappy penguin bodies and husky heads.

WHERE YOU ARE MOST LIKELY TO FIND THEM

As mentioned before, their instinct is to nap in caves. They do this through most of the winter and save up their special grunting prowess for spring and autumn. Although in mid-winter they do wake up go and off-load excessive grunts in a half-asleep state and then return for the rest of their hibernation time. Sometimes they even wake themselves up with a giant grunty guff!

ADVICE FROM THIS LITTLE STINKER

Gross Grunter gathering often results in grumpiness. Pick your friends wisely because if they all stink then why would anyone smile?

THE DANCE OF THE LITTLE STINKER

Ideally they will be on a dance floor with disco balls looking peeved. They will sway and bop awkwardly and mumble because they don’t really want to be there.

Stink Discovery

HOW THEY LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF STINKING SECURITY

The Gross Grunters aren’t subtle, instead they will gloriously grunt in your general direction with no shame only grumpiness. So there is no actually lulling, more of a grunt pelting technique.

STAND OUT MOMENTS

During the Raspberry Rhapsody the Gross Grunters took to the dancefloor and began to sway like reluctant teenagers. They didn’t want to sing or dance, yet it was apparent they were pretty proud of themselves and their gross grunt international delivery.

 

THE MORAL OF THE STINKY STORY

Learning resilience to your own stink is probably one of the best survival practises a person can start early on in life. The more resilient you are then the more likely you are to smile.­

CLICK HERE FOR TINGLE DINGLE AND THE LITTLE STINKERS ON AMAZON.CO.UK

CLICK HERE FOR TINGLE DINGLE AND THE LITTLE STINKERS ON AMAZON.COM

 

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