Dear Hotel Elizabeth, I have to admit you caught me off-guard. I was actually finding myself extremely entertaining coming up with aggravating emails with the most ridiculous subjects and stories. I had just come up with a whole salami javelin throwing event in the square outside your hotel.
Such random sporting events got me thinking and I had great events planned and imagined for true entertainment value and then… what happens? Well you give me a voucher refund and refer to a governmental article.
You know the sound when someone sits on a whoopee cushion? Well that was the sound I made when I received your email. There I was caught up in new inventive sports involving food items and… surprise… a refund. You must have read my emails and thought ‘we can’t take much more of this…’ The thing is I do have a backlog and might have to share. I will seek a vote this evening at a socially distanced gathering involving stuffed vine leaves and cider.
You see what you haven’t considered is that you have given me a voucher to come to your hotel. That means I really must have a book ready to leave after my departure. At the moment it is a small book, so it is only fair you receive a decent sized book filled with wonder, really odd thoughts and general weirdness. I don’t do things by halves either… Hmmm I will have to ponder the best approach.
In terms of coming to your hotel, I wonder whether you have flagged my name for arrival. A nice little series of notes pertaining to me being an aggravating twerp. I wonder if all of your chefs are going to line up and hawk up in my breakfast or whether some kind of itching powder will be put in my bed… Maybe by the time I visit this will all have blown over and everything will be normal again, well as normal as it could be…
Anyway I do want to say thank you for refunding me. I appreciate your efforts. It is just a shame that it has taken over ten aggravating and ridiculous letters to make it happen. There is a bright side though Cruise Ship Creatures has been discovered by a whole new audience!
Oh and note to self – being an aggravating twerp gets results…