WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE – CREATURE IDENTIFICATION
If you think small, sweet rodent like creatures like ferrets then you have the basic idea. They are very adaptable and bendy. You can identify that they are in close proximity because they sound like a squeaky door hinge.
The Sneaky Squeakies, as the name implies are rather squeaky. They have squeaky voices, they sing squeakily and their bottom squeaks stinky smells. Yes a Little Sneaky Squeaker is often a bit of a bottomy sneaker, which sounds like a rusty hinge. A long drawn-out squeal-filled-squeak will alert you to the squeaky bottomed presence. When they talk to each other they talk in squeaks combined with words. When it comes to making bad smells they squeak through their bottoms and the actual sound can be quite amusing – at times rather cute. Who would have thought that a posterioral outrage could be considered sweet? Who knew?
One squeak too far and the reality is that you will be stinked out. What is interesting about the Sneaky Squeakies is they are very fluid in their motions and very quiet as they run. Their only real give away is squeaking. So they can sneak, squeak and turn the other cheek and make a rapid get away. They are seriously swift!
THE STINKING UGLY –HOW THEY ‘GET YOU’
Since sneaking is their natural ability, they sneaky up on you or roll themselves around poles just at the level of your nose. You hear a squeak, which makes you think a door or a window has opened and then bam! A puff of pong sneakily squeakily drifts it way towards you.
They have a distinct rotten fish smell. There was no particular reason for a festering fishy farty form but that is what turned up. Admittedly they like to eat fish and are quite like otters because they hunt in water. Although some of them do like a good fishing rod or fishing net… It just depends what mood they are in.
The purpose of the Sneaky Squeaky is obvious to most because it has the capacity to sneak, squeak and slink away. They also have the ability to climb, suspend themselves and fit through the most obscure places. Sebastian Stinkworthy came up with the Sneaky Squeakies when one of the doors at the Waftness pumping station kept squeaking. Something about that squeak inspired him and because squeak rhymed with sneak – well what better Little Stinker could be created?
IF YOU ARE LIKE THIS LITTLE STINKER
You are light on your feet, have the ability to hide pretty well. When you were little you probably were good at the game hide and seek or jumped out on people when they least expected it. You learned the art of sneak early on… The other poignant posterial part is that your bottom does not make a thunderous billowing blow off. Instead it creates a smelly sound likened to a rusty hinge. It is as if a rusty-hinged door opens and sneaky squeaky freaky smell sidles in and smellifies your victim, who is usually caught glancing at the door expecting someone to arrive when instead a ‘phantom’ blows in.
THE STINKING STORY
There are numerous moments in Tingle Dingle and The Little Stinkers that ‘sneak’ out at you. However, the simple act of delivering a nice breakfast makes the Sneaky Squeakies very likeable.
The children quickly hid behind the ornamental toilet display. The adults jumped back into bed and watched Mildred with a group of Sneaky Squeakies bring in breakfast.
‘Wakey wakey rise and stinky,’ she said with a chuckle. ‘Here is your breakfast – now it is early because Bertie and I need to get focused on this Stinkathon. Only a few hours until we sound the PONG-GONG!’
WHAT MAKES THEM SMILE
There are levels of squeakiness and a long drawn-out squeaky ending in a high-pitched shrill makes them squeakily giggle. Who wouldn’t to master the art of bottomy squeakage with a squeak that evolves into a spectacularly creaky scream?
THEIR FAVOURITE FOOD
They love fish, a good bit of mackerel makes them squeak with pleasure. Salmon and trout also tickle their farty-fancy. Their fishy food choice depends whether they are close to the sea, a river or a fish and chip shop.
A LITTLE BIT OF WEIRDNESS
When the Sneaky Squeakies first squeaked in unison it sounded rather haunting. You know in those ghost stories where the door hinge opens slowly and no one enters and there is a cold breeze? Or imagine when there is a storm taking place and a window rattles with its hinges. There are those squeaks that send shivers down your spine. Well, the squeakies mastered the stormy ghostly squeaking sounds with the benefit of a blustery blow-off. What an achievement!
Sebastian was extremely pleased because he realised the Sneaky Squeakies could be utilised in palaces, castles and old stately homes where unsuspecting gentry could be squeaked at and it could be blamed on the door or window.
THEIR PART OF THE RASPBERRY RHAPSODY
A good bit of squeaking was crucial to the success of the Raspberry Rhapsody and this is where they excelled:
The Sneaky Squeakies lined up next to the Hippobottymous and joined in. Sebastian swished his cape and glanced at Tingle’s family. They had taken seats and were watching with looks of utter amazement on their faces.
‘What you see taking place in here is also happening outside. There are millions of them all over the world,’ Sebastian cried triumphantly.
‘Squeaky, squeaky oh so sneaky! La la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!’ The Sneaky Squeakies sounded extremely squeaky in comparison to the Hippobottymouses’ deep tones. The Sneaky Squeakies flapped their fur wings and sang as loudly as they could in their small, cute and rodent-like way. ‘La la laaaaaa Sneaky Squeaky and oh so freaky la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!’ The Sneaky Squeakies moved in a wriggly manner and at the same time and grinned. It was squeakily magnificent!
WHERE YOU ARE MOST LIKELY TO FIND THEM
As mentioned above, Sebastian Stinkworthy liked the idea of these lovely Little Sneaky Squeakies lurking in castles, manor houses, palaces and stately homes. They could surprise the gentry with sneaky stinky squeak and they would think it was the window or the hinged door that made the sound. What a clever use of a squeaky hinge!
ADVICE FROM THIS LITTLE STINKER
Make sure you oil your hinges because then you will know whether there is a Sneaky Squeaky infestation or doors/sash windows that have not been properly looked after.
THE DANCE OF THE LITTLE STINKER
The Sneaky Squeakies sneak onto the dance floor and wriggle. They then provide a series of lovely little sneaky squeaky sounds where they often arch their backs and kick their hind legs in the air. At other times they rear up on their hind legs, undulate and then squeak and then sneak away.
HOW THEY LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF STINKING SECURITY
They pick houses that have doors that squeak, floors that creak and windows that whine.
STAND OUT MOMENTS
This one was not in the book, but when it came to the Great Stink release, where Sebastian Stinkworthy cried Pongs Away! And Detonate the Sprouts! A series of Sneaky Squeakies had visited parliaments and the palaces around the world because those old buildings have creaky floors and squeaky hinged doors. Sebastian knew there would a state of national stinking of emergency called. When all the politicians and gentry gathered to discuss the issue they would enter through large doors. Every time that door opened a Sneaky Squeaky released a Governmental Guff or a Palacial Pong. Of course it made them Sebastian Stinkworthy smile because people of power only ever looked accusingly at each with looks of disgust on their faces. They generally avoided placing political blow-off blame because they are too busy arguing about other things.
THE MORAL OF THE STINKY STORY
To sneak a squeak could result in a bottom creak.
ILLUSTRATIONS – ROBIN DRY – THANK YOU!