PONGPENDIUM – What Kind of Little Stinker are you? A Dastardly Drooler?

WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE – CREATURE IDENTIFICATION

The sloth face with fangs may well be a bit misleading because it might suggest laziness, yet that is certainly far from the truth. The Dastardly Drooler has fangs, there was no purpose for the fangs but sometimes you like to add such things in for a bit of fun – fang fun. The thing with the fangs they became the perfect items to enable a decent bit of drool to drip from. You might notice that Sebastian Stinkworthy, through his Little Stinker creation, gradually became more and more experimental. At one point he thought why not add in a dragon’s body? Creating your own creatures to create stinks was all so terribly exciting! So what did he want to do with the drool? Well all the other creatures were releasing stink from their bottoms. He decided that he had to be less obvious so decided that a decent bit of drool could make some putrid puddles of stink. Also people could slip on the drool or get slimed by it.

Dastardly Droolers

THE GOOD

This Little Stinker is quite an innovation. Most stinks, as we know come from bottoms, although there are some rather breathy badduns’ as well. Now, how many drooling creatures do you know that can fly? Precisely – what fun? Sebastian Stinkworthy also decided that he rather liked the idea of having a pet dragon-type creature. He thought the whole fire breathing would not appeal to the health and safety of the Waftness pumping station and certainly did not want his pets confiscated. The Little Stinkers being taken away would really upset him. If he was going to be stuck underground for over one hundred and seventy years then he had to create Little Stinkers that you could live with, like and get along with. Sometimes he would even play with them, although most adults don’t like to admit they play… The thing is the Dastardly Droolers did like to chase balls in the same way as dogs like to chase anything thrown. The only challenge was the fangs and how the Droolers picked up what they chased. You might have to imagine that yourself.

THE BAD

Drool is never pleasant is it? Watching dogs drool definitely makes one feel a little queasy. It is unfortunate really because puddles of drool can be slippery and when one skids through such a slimey mess and falls on one’s behind in a pongy puddle… Well, it really makes a person feel sad.

THE STINKING UGLY – HOW THEY ‘GET YOU’

They get you by creating a slippery, pongy puddle. That drool is super-skiddy and you won’t notice it until it is too late. You will be wandering along caught up in your own thoughts and then whooooooooooosh. It will be like you have stepped on ice or a really long and fast banana skin. You will slide, glide and then collide bottom first with the ground. That is when you will find yourself sitting in a pongy pool likened to dog breath combined with gorilla breath. Not very pleasant!

pong

 

ODOUR IDENTIFICATION

The odour is like the worst bad breath you ever smelled. There are times when dogs have eaten something so foul that when they pant at you, your eyes roll back in your head and you want to pass out. Now combine this with gorilla breath. What you haven’t smelled gorilla breath? Well imagine what the breath must smell like when a creature has never cleaned its teeth… Errrrch!

PURPOSE

This was more of an experimental and innovative creature because Sebastian Stinkworthy liked the idea of having pet dragons that did not spit fire. Also the drool became quite the perfect pongy pool for people to slip and fall in – a pongy drool pool. When creating the supreme stench the Dastardly Droolers went out into the world and made pong puddles all through the cities for commuters and tourists to slip in. Admittedly Sebastian Stinkworthy did not want them to hurt themselves, he just liked random people accidentally stepping into a puddle of drool, sliding along really fast and then sitting in it. There was something very entertaining about that for him.

2 loo

 

IF YOU ARE LIKE THIS LITTLE STINKER

Are you a dribbler? Do you drool in your sleep? Have you talked to people and noticed that they have stuffed tissue up their noses mid-conversation? Don’t you find it strange that people don’t mention when they feel disgusted by someone’s bad breath? Well, Sebastian Stinkworthy has been privy to some very bad breath in the past and turned that bad experience into something even worse.

THE STINKING STORY

In Tingle Dingle and The Little Mischiefs John and Dianne (Josh and Tingle’s mum and dad) look completely unimpressed by the Droolers.

John didn’t like them one bit, ‘what are those?’ he whispered to his wife.

‘I think those are the Dastardly Droolers,’ she replied.

The Drooler’s voices where quite slithery and whispery. ‘With a slither and a slime we create stinking crimes… La laaaaaaaaaaaaaa! La laaaaa,’

‘Using our drool we create the perfect pongy pool la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!’

WHAT MAKES THEM SMILE

Dastardly Droolers are a little more challenged than most when it comes to smiling because their large fangs have a tendency to get in the way. Although, they do have a twinkle in their eyes when they watch an unsuspecting party step into a huge pool of pongy drool, skid like they are on water slide and elegantly land on their bottom in the pong puddle.

soup

 

THEIR FAVOURITE FOOD

They have a real thing about garlic bread with mozzarella cheese on it. Sebastian Stinkworthy came to the conclusion that the long tendrils made by the mozzarella inspired them because it reminded them of their own drool.

A LITTLE BIT OF WEIRDNESS

The Dastardly Droolers, even though they look like miniature dragons, are actually quite gentle creatures. They are like little puppies and have a tendency to want to climb up on people’s laps for affection. There is nothing they like more than being tickled on the neck or having their back patted. Sebastian Stinkworthy quite enjoyed these creatures; however, he had to develop a way of stroking his pets without being completely slimed. In the end he developed a kind of apron that protected his clothes from the drool. He then collected the drool and kept it in jars for the stink release.

Little Stinkers preparing to sing

THEIR PART OF THE RASPBERRY RHAPSODY

Of course the Dastardly Droolers made and entrance:

With a nod, some slimy creatures, with sloth faces and dragon’s bodies, oozed to the centre of the room. They left a slithery trail the same way slugs and snails left slime on paths. They appeared pleased with themselves because the stinky slime was brewing and close to reaching its perfect stagnant state. Their voices were quite raspy and whispery. ‘With a slither and a slime we create stinky crime… La laaaaaaaaaaaaaa! La laaaaa,’

WHERE YOU ARE MOST LIKELY TO FIND THEM

The Dastardly Droolers are quite home bodies. They like to be in the comfort of a home. They particularly like curling up next to a fire. Sebastian Stinkworthy came to the conclusion that they were drawn to fires because of their dragon nature. They are not able to breathe fire so they like to gaze into it instead.

ADVICE FROM THIS LITTLE STINKER

Some people may consider dribbling and drooling quite unattractive and in many cases it is. However, there are ways of harnessing such a state if you are innovative and entrepreneurial. Sebastian collected this slinky slime and kept in jars for the Great Stink release. It just goes to show there are always unexpected possibilities in the strangest places.

Stink Discovery

 

THE DANCE OF THE LITTLE STINKER

These creatures are slow movers, it is down to the fact that they are part sloth. The thing is a slow dance can be very engaging. Now when you team that with dragon wings and tails you have a very calculated dragonny dribbly drooly dance. There is nothing else like it.

HOW THEY LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF STINKING SECURITY

They personally do not lull you into a false sense of stinking security: instead they set up a dastardly, dribbly drool trail and when you are checking your phone or not paying attention you will accidentally step on it which will result in an epic skid that will send you flying. The pong path will lead you to a putrid pong puddle that will coat you in a dastardly disgusting drool.

STAND OUT MOMENTS

When the Dastardly Droolers first began their drooly pong puddle experiments, they went out at sunrise and practiced on numerous locations to find the optimum pong puddle placing. As a group they dribbled and drooled on many of the London Bridges and places where people funnelled in mass. They discovered that places with slight slopes were quite brilliant because of the speed that people could skid before they touched down in the final pong puddle destination. What they found quite fascinating was that even though one person had stepped on the skiddy, stinky slide, others saw it happen and did the same thing rather than avoid it. Sometimes so many people stepped on the dastardly drool that a pile of people ended up in the pong puddle. Pong-puddling was really was quite effective for coating people in stinks. One bit of dribbly drool could literally send people on a drool-infested-pongy-puddle journey.

THE MORAL OF THE STINKY STORY

Never underestimate the clout of dribble and drool when used effectively.

CLICK HERE FOR TINGLE DINGLE AND THE LITTLE STINKERS ON AMAZON.CO.UK

CLICK HERE FOR TINGLE DINGLE AND THE LITTLE STINKERS ON AMAZON.COM

ILUSTRATIONS BY ROBIN DRY – THANK YOU


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