WELL WHO REALLY GETS TO HAVE A BIT OF A DECENT SING SONG ABOUT A PONG? WELL HERE YOU GO…
And this is where it turns up in Tingle Dingle and The Little Stinkers…
Tingle and Josh nodded, they had no idea what was coming but it did look fun. Sebastian stood up, bowed at the pair and made his way to the dancefloor.
‘One wronged man with a skill for scent was cast away with the Queen’s consent…’ With a whip of his golden cape Sebastian strode to the centre of the floor and crouched down. With that, there were slow, deep sounds. A number of the Dancey Doom Dunkers took to the floor and began to spin. A harmony from the Whiff Warblers began a wealth of warbling.
‘That poor man had done nothing wrong so he decided to create a pong…’ cried Sebastian launching himself into the air. At the same time the Pump-kins lit up inside and propelled themselves in a circle from the ceiling and spun towards the floor. Sebastian balanced on one leg and rotated very gradually and theatrically. ‘That sad man had harnessed the power of pong and took his revenge using a stinky song…’
Tingle suddenly realised what he was doing. After he had been ridiculed he was going to make a song that took its revenge with a horrid smell. Tingle glanced at Josh who was smiling because the Tangy Twerpers were rolling around the floor. The music picked up pace and Sebastian began to dance… The Stink Stonkers arrived and took to the floor and made a wonderful stamping beat. Josh and Tingle clapped their hands.
‘Now the chorus…’ Sebastian cried raising his hands in the air. With that, all of the Little Stinkers joined in…
‘Ohhh it stinks… it smells so bad… the rancid stench makes us so sad… We are sorry for what we’ve done because nasty niffs really aren’t fun!’
Tingle and Josh began to giggle… It was then that the Smog Sprouters waddled in with their penguin-like bodies and their husky heads and began to do a kind of tap dance with their webbed feet. At the same time the Stink Stonkers stomped backwards towards the edge of the floor while maintaining the beat, and a perfectly formed line.
‘Now for the education children…’ Sebastian kicked his lifted leg forwards and stamped in time with the Stink Stonkers.
‘First of all he made some smells and then he hid them in different wells.
He soon realised that the world could be… His perfect stinking opportunity…’ Sebastian turned and wiggled his bottom. In doing so twenty wobbly-bottomed Hippobottymous took to the floor and wiggled their wobbly bottoms in time with the music.
By that point Tingle and Josh were crying with laughter. They couldn’t believe how shaky bottomed the Hippobottymous were.
‘Come on Gross Grunters – get the strain on those faces and dance! You are always so reluctant yet your grunts are some of the most necessary stinks the world will ever experience. They have been placed along all of the city’s rivers worldwide and at midday tomorrow… those grunts will become extremely guffy! You need to be proud! You need to shake that gross grunty face and celebrate all you have done… Millions of stinking grunts worldwide – well done!’
The Gross Grunters took to the floor and began to sway like reluctant teenagers who had been forced to dance.
Tingle glanced at Josh, ‘Millions of gross grunts along all of the rivers?’ That was a lot of bad smells.
‘Time for the chorus,’ Sebastian waved his hands in the air as if conducting an orchestra. All the Little Stinkers united in song. ‘Ohhh it stinks… it smells so bad… the rancid stench makes us so sad…
We are sorry for what we’ve done because nasty niffs really aren’t fun!’
Sebastian pointed to the corner of the room. ‘Right time for the Tangy Twerpers to twerp-it up and show us their full formation…’
The armadillo type creatures rolled in formation. When they arrived in their dance position they unfurled to a rhythm and delivered their song. ‘We took the stench to every city because those smells weren’t so pretty…’
‘Brilliant!’ cried Sebastian who was now jiggling around like an excited toddler. ‘Now I introduce the duck-billed-splatter-pus!’
A line of the little creatures waddled in together. Stink bubbles floated in all directions. Each illuminated by disco lights. Together they slapped their tails on the floor. ‘We quickly learned that a rising stink would really make most people think…’
Sebastian side-stepped and skipped across the dancefloor, ‘So these little beauties have transported underwater stink bubbles to all of the rivers worldwide. Imagine clusters of stink bubbles all lining the water-covered banks like rows of frog spawn. What makes it so exciting is when the time is right all of the bubbles are going to rise and stink at once.’
‘Oh,’ said Tingle realising there were a lot of bubbles brewing.
ILLUSTRATIONS BY ROBIN DRY – THANK YOU!