Michelle Dry's Children's Books

Some stink combinations

THE GATHERING GUFFERS…

WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE – CREATURE IDENTIFICATION

Since a gathering group of guffers can be utilised to create stink combinations, you simply require three different Little Stinkers to join in a bottomy raspberry rhapsody. Each has different qualities that they can bring to the stink-tacular table!

THE GOOD

What is good about a gathering of guffers? Unfortunately gathering with stinkacious intent is not really considered good. Although, from the point of view of the stink creators, there is a diversity of stink that can be made. Each will bring their own special smellacious quality and have a different pong perception. Consider how many whiff wonders can be created using different combinations of Little Stinkers.

THE BAD

There is a less distinct flavour and it is more challenging to identify the culprit when there are so many parping particpants. It is like the old saying too many cooks spoil the broth. In this case too many stinkers ruin the pong. What’s more, if too many gather and the group create a tremendously guffing smog, well pretty much everyone will feel ill.

THE STINKING UGLY – HOW THEY ‘GET YOU’

They aren’t out to get anyone. It is more of a general gathering of guffyness. A group of guffers can deliver more guff puffs than one alone. Look at it more as a team effort.

ODOUR IDENTIFICATION

This is more of a general murk because all of the pongs have merged into one festeringly fragrant fog. You would have to have a well-trained nose to identify the individual contributors and a vast amount of fragrant fart familiarity. In general the ultimate acrid aroma achievement would combine sprouts, manky cheese, dirty socks and a hint of dog’s breath.

PURPOSE

The more guffers then the more stink that can be created. We are talking quantity rather than a quality pong.

IF YOU ARE LIKE THIS LITTLE STINKER

You will prefer to gather and group guff. You probably have friends who feel it is fine to meet up make a pong, sing a song and move along.

 

THE STINKING STORY

The fact that all of the Little Stinkers gather and sing the Raspberry Rhapsody together; albeit having their own songs within the bigger song, reveals how the Little Stinkers are all their own breeds yet live in a harmonious humming community.

WHAT MAKES THEM SMILE

Any group of guffers generally giggle when each parp or when another blows-off. It is the sense of unity that comes from an almost tribal gathering resulting in a decent doom-filled stink.

THEIR FAVOURITE FOOD

A buffet works best for a group of guffers because there is such a diversity of favourite foods and they wouldn’t want to be restricted by limited flavour. What’s more, when you shake up your diet then you can expand your pong potential.

A LITTLE BIT OF WEIRDNESS

The history of group guffers is a strange one because it began in the early eighteen hundreds. That was before the Little Stinkers entered the earthly realm and gathered to create stinks. Instead people, yes people, created pong parties. Groups would gather, create a stink, find it hilarious and then go home. It was a weird past time but during that time many peculiar things took place. Most of the random events couldn’t be explained and were often blamed on the circus. What makes that era even weirder was there was demand for those who could parp the alphabet. Circuses always desired such a spectacle. The Professional Party Parper usually performed after the bearded lady or the strong man.

THEIR PART OF THE RASPBERRY RHAPSODY

The Gathering Guffers are more of a unique phenomenon. They didn’t join the Raspberry Rhapsody, although it could be argued that all of the Little Stinkers performing the Raspberry Rhapsody together essentially makes them Gathering Guffers by default.

 

WHERE YOU ARE MOST LIKELY TO FIND THEM

Gathering guffers can be found anywhere. Some go to festivals, others go to campsites or they happen to purposely hang out in crowded places. There are times where they will gather on beaches or go to a guff gathering party. There is no limit to where guffers can gather. The thing is to be gathered in a guff you need at least three willing pongacious participants.

ADVICE FROM THIS LITTLE STINKER

To be really effective within the guffing group dynamic make sure you prepare beforehand, know your limits and always carry spare underwear.

THE DANCE OF THE LITTLE STINKER

This is a group dance like the hokey cokey but more of a giant group guffy.

Put your left leg in your left leg out… Do a loud blow-off and shake it all about… Oh giant guffy guffy… oh giant guffy guffy. Knees bend arms stretch pong thwarrrp parp!

HOW THEY LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF STINKING SECURITY

Well you might think that a group of guffers have simply gathered to dance to some music or have a bit of a party. There you are all innocent and the first thwarp sounds. It is somewhat like a war cry but more of a pong-parpity-pointer. From that moment on every dance and every bottomy swing will result in a rotten raspberry that sounds like a squished whoopee cushion.

STAND OUT MOMENTS

Parp and pong parties were banned in the late eighteen hundreds because the fetid smells that lurked for days afterwards were pretty unpleasant to say the least. Also the gathering guffers became a little too competitive and took to eating foods that would unsettle their stomachs. In doing so many almost blew themselves apart, which resulted in them going to hospital. Death by pong started turning up on death certificates and that became a concern. In the end all pong parties were raided by the police and anyone who had a hint of pong around them would be accused and then imprisoned. The government announced the pong restrictions and stated that such events were banned for the best interest of the nation.

 

THE MORAL OF THE STINKY STORY

A group of guffers have a united pong power that no individual can create alone.

CLICK HERE FOR TINGLE DINGLE AND THE LITTLES STINNKERS ON AMAZON.CO.UK

CLICK HERE FOR TINGLE DINGLE AND THE LITTLE STINKERS ON AMAZON.COM

ILUSTRATIONS BY ROBIN DRY – THANK YOU!