LETTING IT GO – PONGS AWAY!
Writing Tingle Dingle and The Little Stinkers has been an immense pleasure and compiling a Pongpendium was quite an unexpected addition. Admittedly my friends and I had discussed a Fartsaurus, but that sounded a lot like a bottom bubbling dinosaur from the Pongiolithic era. That then resulted in discussions that maybe the dinosaurs didn’t die out from an ice age but rather by inhaling each other’s bottomy belongings! Well, if you think about it, dinosaurs are pretty big and that means that there is a lot of internal capacity for a pre-historic pong. You certainly would not want to dig up that fart fossil. Yuck! Oh that would be bad. A dinosaur blow-off brewed over millions of years… Imagine. Now what is odd about such conversations is that first they happen and that there are so many different options. It really is quite bizarre. In fact, the other day one of my friends advised me that a whale blow off is so large it could contain a horse inside it. How does anyone know that? Who measures a whale blow off? Why would you want a horse to ride inside a whale’s fart bubble? Honestly – the world astounds me!
I may have deviated (just a little bit), the other name we considered was the Stinkopedia, which we all liked but that would mean there would be a lot of stinks in the title. We wanted to shake up the smells to enable more diversity and that was how the Pongpendium stuck. So in terms of ‘Letting it go!’ and ‘Detonate the Sprouts!’ I am going to have to let this one go too. What a shame, after so much fun and time laughing at my own ridiculous stink scenes. What I find particularly amusing is how much I have cried laughing at the ridicularity in this book and knowing that the audio production of this will be a joy to listen to.
Although all good things come to an end except a sausage which has two ends. Once this little bookie beauty has been released I will write something ‘grown up’ which does not revolve around smells. My reason for writing something grown-up is because when I write is that life often mimics art and in this case it became f-art.
As mentioned before, a rather meaty bull-dog blow-off ambushed me in a café which was the final straw and made me write Tingle Dingle and The Little Stinkers. Before that I had numerous signs that a book about Little Stinkers had to be written. When I say signs, I truly believe that a book is randomly floating in ether (much like a blow off) and then gravitates to its author. When that happens you have what I class as ‘hauntings’ or signs. A few examples of those include being in very close proximity to some rather stinky feet in my hot yoga class. Another incident where one of the yogis let rip next to me and I almost passed out. The third in the series of signs was when the bulldog blow off ambushed me. I felt as though the ‘Little Stinkers’ were out for me and I had to get the book written – or else stinks, pongs and nasty niffs were going to catch me off-guard at every opportunity. That isn’t fun or fair.
The next thing I knew the book was flowing. However, a book about stinks must have illustrations and my dad, who is a very straight-laced chap, is the most excellent illustrator. So imagine having to call him and essentially ask him to illustrate a series of named farts. Honestly… My life sometimes. Now most people would be somewhat bemused but his response was very professional. ‘So what size are these creatures and can you write me a clear description?’ That was how the Little Stinker illustrations came to fruition.
You might notice I am not doing a terribly good job of letting this go and the thing is I know it is time. So I just want to say thank you all for reading my books and sharing them with your friends. It seems that the world needed something a bit fun at the Coronavirus time and we can thank lockdown for forcing me to stay in and write this book (I would usually be out socialising and avoiding pongs). With that in mind, I just want you to know I like the word Pongalicious and it has no relevance to anything but that is not the point. Creating random words for fun is a worthy cause and one more thing…
PONGS AWAY!!!!! AND….DETONATE THE SPROUTS!
ILLUSTRATIONS BY ROBIN DRY – MY DAD! THANK YOU SO MUCH!