That precarious moment when you realise your bikini or budgie smugglers/swimming shirts have extracted themselves from your body and have decided to float at an unreachable distance from you. … More Cruise Ship Creatures – Chapter 28 – The Missing in Swimwear Action
Bosoms that defy gravity, bottoms that are so pert that you wonder if someone is constantly squeezing a walnut between their cheeks and hair grafting that resembles a turfed lawn are just a few experiments to behold… … More Cruise Ship Creatures – Chapter 23 – The Plastic Surgery Experiments
So, we have come to the rear end and with every ending there is a new beginning. … More Tingle Dingle and The Little Stinkers – The Rear End
The third in the series of signs was when the bulldog blow off ambushed me. I felt as though the ‘Little Stinkers’ were out for me and I had to get the book written – or else stinks, pongs and nasty niffs were going to catch me at every opportunity. … More PONGPENDIUM – LETTING IT GO! PONGS AWAY!!!
It had to be the greatest show to accompany the greatest acrid aroma. That was where the Odorous Opera originated, the Raspberry Rhapsody Reared its ridiculous head and the Ponga-long which was a pong sing-along came from. … More A Stinktacular – Yes You Heard it – A STINK-TACULAR!
What makes the Parpsichord player smile is when the first raspberry sounds and the variety of expression that cross the audience’s faces. What an absolute classic! There are usually frowns, looks of disgust and many ‘did I just really hear that?’ expressions. Pongle’s favourite was the ‘that sounded like a fart look – did anyone else notice? … More PONGPENDIUM – What Kind of Little Stinker are You? A Parpsichord Player?
There is a less distinct flavour and it is more challenging to identify the culprit when there are so many parping particpants. It is like the old saying too many cooks spoil the broth. In the case too many stinkers ruin the pong. … More PONGPENDIUM – What Kind of Little Stinker are You? A Gathering Guffer?
What would happen if that whale released a stink? Do whales have funny tummies? That then resulted in shark smells. Did sharks blow off? Did a shark have a bottom? All of that came from one innocent bottom bubble! … More PONGPENDIUM -What Kind of Little Stinker are You? A Duckbilled-splatterpus?
When the Dancey-Doom-Dunkers first began to practice their moves they practiced in cities. They surrounded people who were eating their lunch on benches and staring looking at their phones. It seemed that lunchtime was the optimum time to provide a pasty-flavoured-festering-fragrance. … More PONGPENDIUM – What Kind of Little Stinker are You? A Dancey Doom Dunker?
The stench was intense and while the crowd reacted the warblers flitted away with their beautiful dragonfly wings as if the huge squelch had been a figment of people’s imaginations. … More PONGPENDIUM – What Kind of Little Stinker are you? A Whiff Warbler?