Ohhhh many a Gincident has taken place on a cruise ship… Have a listen to the Gin-a-linga-ding-dong Cruise Ship Creature…. … More Sooooooo Happy… Why?
Roll on Autumn and Winter because that is my favourite imagining times… The dark times make space for monsters, creatures and creativity. … More Tingle Dingle and The Land of Boredooom! Chapter 3 Audio
Although he did send me an email saying he was having a challenge delivering ‘Imagine a giant whoopee cushion in human form flying across the deck making a huge raspberry noise.’ … More Do You Want A Giggle?
When I taught creative writing evening classes I would ask the new students what had made them want to join the class. Would you believe that some of them announced they wanted to be the next J.K Rowling? Well who doesn’t? Erm actually me. Why? … More A Different Attitude to Writing Books
CHAPTER 94 THE WINE SNIFFERS Showy, blowy and nasally glowy this connoisseur will loudly share their great insight into the world of wine. ‘There is bouquet of wet dog combined with raspberries, a courgette and succulent aroma of string beans in this fine wine.’ They swill the rouge liquid through their teeth like … More Cruise Ship Creatures – THE WINE SNIFFERS
CHAPTER 92 THE ‘I HAVE 20 SUITCASES’ Do you have a suitcase madam? The general response from an embarking guest is to point at one or two suitcases but in some instances people have packed for all eventuality and have at least ten suitcases, for only one week. Ultimately the ‘I Have 20 … More Cruise Ship Creatures – THE ‘I HAVE 20 SUITCASES’
When you are talking budgie smuggling you mean that there isn’t actually a small squashed bird being transported against its will in a Lycra arrangement that surrounds a man’s thrustacious hip girdle? … More Cruise Ship Creatures – THE REBEL WITH A BUDGIE SMUGGLING CAUSE
What is it about the front seat of a bus? Yes, you can see a bit more but why do people fight for that front position? I have watched guests argue over that seat and then attempt to pull each other off the seat. When a tour is called in the theatre ‘The I Must Have A Front Seat’ gang dart down to the gangway at the fastest pace you can ever imagine. … More Cruise Ship Creatures – THE ‘I MUST HAVE THE FRONT SEAT OF THE BUS!’
As with all things gin there are many a gincident to report and fantastic moments of congers taking place when there is no actual conger music. One of the best shippy gincidents involved a group of older ‘Gin-A-Ling-A-Ding-Dongs’ reaching the point of being grievous-ginily-sloshed and deciding that skinny dipping in the central pool at the buffet-face-stuffing peak time was a particularly good idea. … More Cruise Ship Creatures – The Gin-a-ling-a-ding-dongs
So now we are on a roll. I guess you are wondering how this book came about… Well it was a long time coming… The original idea happened during an eclipse in Madagascar in 2002 – I think it was 2002 or maybe 2003. That night I had a dream that revealed the patterns of … More Retina Blue Audio Chapter 2