Oh that free eye with every treatment does it every time! … More It Must Be Cruising Season…
When someone laughs so hard they forget they were baking… What a joy! … More My Favourite Review So Far…
Oh the stupid question phemomemon in all its glory… … More Can I Ask A Stupid Question?
What fun eh? Imagine Cruise Ship guests all sitting around the pool trying to figure out what cruise ship creatures the fellow guests are… Fun! … More Cruise Ship Creatures – The Phantom Blow Off!
CHAPTER 94 THE WINE SNIFFERS Showy, blowy and nasally glowy this connoisseur will loudly share their great insight into the world of wine. ‘There is bouquet of wet dog combined with raspberries, a courgette and succulent aroma of string beans in this fine wine.’ They swill the rouge liquid through their teeth like … More Cruise Ship Creatures – THE WINE SNIFFERS
CHAPTER 92 THE ‘I HAVE 20 SUITCASES’ Do you have a suitcase madam? The general response from an embarking guest is to point at one or two suitcases but in some instances people have packed for all eventuality and have at least ten suitcases, for only one week. Ultimately the ‘I Have 20 … More Cruise Ship Creatures – THE ‘I HAVE 20 SUITCASES’
When you are talking budgie smuggling you mean that there isn’t actually a small squashed bird being transported against its will in a Lycra arrangement that surrounds a man’s thrustacious hip girdle? … More Cruise Ship Creatures – THE REBEL WITH A BUDGIE SMUGGLING CAUSE
One of my favourite rumours that went around the ship, which originated in the launderette, was that on the world cruise there were eleven bodies in the morgue. It was not true, but it amused me when I was asked. ‘So… we hear there are eleven bodies in the morgue…’ … More Cruise Ship Creatures – The Launderette Gossips
What is it about the front seat of a bus? Yes, you can see a bit more but why do people fight for that front position? I have watched guests argue over that seat and then attempt to pull each other off the seat. When a tour is called in the theatre ‘The I Must Have A Front Seat’ gang dart down to the gangway at the fastest pace you can ever imagine. … More Cruise Ship Creatures – THE ‘I MUST HAVE THE FRONT SEAT OF THE BUS!’
So there we are: Mabel has mauled the manly mob with a ping pong ball and suddenly other ladies got wind (some have wind anyway) of the phenomenon taking place. … More Cruise Ship Creatures – THE TABLE TENNIS MENACE AND QUOITS QUIRKIES