Tag: SAILOR
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Cruise Ship Creatures – THE WINE SNIFFERS
CHAPTER 94 THE WINE SNIFFERS Showy, blowy and nasally glowy this connoisseur will loudly share their great insight into the world of wine. ‘There is bouquet of wet dog combined with raspberries, a courgette and succulent aroma of string beans in this fine wine.’ They swill the rouge liquid through their teeth like […]
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Cruise Ship Creatures – THE ‘I HAVE 20 SUITCASES’
CHAPTER 92 THE ‘I HAVE 20 SUITCASES’ Do you have a suitcase madam? The general response from an embarking guest is to point at one or two suitcases but in some instances people have packed for all eventuality and have at least ten suitcases, for only one week. Ultimately the ‘I Have 20 […]
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Cruise Ship Creatures – THE REBEL WITH A BUDGIE SMUGGLING CAUSE
When you are talking budgie smuggling you mean that there isn’t actually a small squashed bird being transported against its will in a Lycra arrangement that surrounds a man’s thrustacious hip girdle?
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Cruise Ship Creatures – The Launderette Gossips
One of my favourite rumours that went around the ship, which originated in the launderette, was that on the world cruise there were eleven bodies in the morgue. It was not true, but it amused me when I was asked. ‘So… we hear there are eleven bodies in the morgue…’
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Cruise Ship Creatures – THE ‘I MUST HAVE THE FRONT SEAT OF THE BUS!’
What is it about the front seat of a bus? Yes, you can see a bit more but why do people fight for that front position? I have watched guests argue over that seat and then attempt to pull each other off the seat. When a tour is called in the theatre ‘The I Must Have A Front Seat’ gang dart down to the gangway at the fastest pace you can ever imagine.
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Cruise Ship Creatures – THE TABLE TENNIS MENACE AND QUOITS QUIRKIES
So there we are: Mabel has mauled the manly mob with a ping pong ball and suddenly other ladies got wind (some have wind anyway) of the phenomenon taking place.
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Cruise Ship Creatures – THE ‘HAS ANYONE HANDED IN MY TEETH?’
So the gummy little lady was asked when she last had her teeth and she could not remember. It was only when she went to dinner that evening that she realised that she had forgotten them. So guess what happened next?