PONGPENDIUM – What Kind of Little Stinker are you? A Whiff Warbler?
The stench was intense and while the crowd reacted the warblers flitted away with their beautiful dragonfly wings as if the huge squelch had been a figment of people’s imaginations.
Time for a Ponga-long Sing Song about a Pertinent Pong!
‘Time for the chorus,’ Sebastian waved his hands in the air as if conducting an orchestra. All the Little Stinkers united in song. ‘Ohhh it stinks… it smells so bad… the rancid stench makes us so sad…
That Refund You Owe Me – Break the Bed!
Now you are very lucky this situation isn’t a rising in the middle ages. There would be pitch forks, fire pelted from canons and buttress storming. I never really knew what that was, but it isn’t often you get to utilise such a phrase when making a complaint!
CRUISE SHIP CREATURES – THE SUNBED HOGGERS
Another arranged towels in a body-like form, put a fur hat at the ‘head end’ and placed a blanket over the top. On top of the blanket a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign was fastened so that people would not dare to prod them. Clever?
CRUISE SHIP CREATURES – THE TALENT FOR THE NOT SO TALENTED SHOW
There were a group of ladies who could imitate all kinds of animals and were particularly good at warbling… Amazing imagine sitting watching three seventy year olds warble at the top of their lungs and then break into walrus mating calls.
CRUISE SHIP CREATURES – THE SHIP LOVERS
This ‘Cruise Ship Creature’ is fascinating because they love to share their passion and will undoubtedly have insights that you would not discover unless you set up an interrogation room for the crew.
CRUISE SHIP CREATURES – THE PARTY CRUISERS
What is worse than a hangover and feeling slightly green? Well that is when the ship hits a storm during a hangover. It is quite a sight watching people determinedly partying when the party platform is pitching and rolling in all directions.
Sooooooo Happy… Why?
Ohhhh many a Gincident has taken place on a cruise ship… Have a listen to the Gin-a-linga-ding-dong Cruise Ship Creature….
Cruise Ship Creatures – THE WINE SNIFFERS
CHAPTER 94 THE WINE SNIFFERS Showy, blowy and nasally glowy this connoisseur will loudly share their great insight into the world of wine. ‘There is bouquet of wet dog combined with raspberries, a courgette and succulent aroma of string beans in this fine wine.’ They swill the rouge liquid through their teeth like…
Cruise Ship Creatures – THE ‘I HAVE 20 SUITCASES’
CHAPTER 92 THE ‘I HAVE 20 SUITCASES’ Do you have a suitcase madam? The general response from an embarking guest is to point at one or two suitcases but in some instances people have packed for all eventuality and have at least ten suitcases, for only one week. Ultimately the ‘I Have 20…